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Still Life: A Memoir of Living Fully with Depression, by Gillian Marchenko
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"I stand on the edge of a cliff in my own bedroom." Gillian Marchenko continues her description of depression: "I must keep still. Otherwise I will plunge to my death. 'Please God, take this away,' I pray when I can." For Gillian, "dealing with depression" means learning to accept and treat it as a physical illness. In these pages she describes her journey through various therapies and medications to find a way to live with depression. She faces down the guilt of a wife and mother of four, two with special needs. How can she care for her family when she can't even get out of bed? Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope remains as she discovers that living with depression is still life.
- Sales Rank: #197730 in Books
- Brand: InterVarsity Press
- Published on: 2016-04-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .50" w x 5.50" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 192 pages
Review
"A valuable memoir of depression for those both inside and outside its grasp." (Library Journal, July 2016)
"Such painfully beautiful writing. . . . I'm so very grateful you are here. I have deep respect for the courage and bravery it takes to keep choosing life." (Kay Warren)
"Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope remains as she discovers that living with depression is still life." (The Light, May 2016)
"Over the years I've learned much from Gillian Marchenko about what it's like to live and parent through clinical depression. I'm so glad others will now be able to learn from her in her newest memoir, Still Life. With her signature honesty and real-life faith, Gillian reminds us that God meets us in the hard, often debilitating places. For those who suffer from depression or those who love others that do, this book is a treasured story that articulates life and faith in the midst of this disease. You won't be sorry you've read it." (Alexandra Kuykendall, author of Loving My Actual Life and The Artist's Daughter)
"In this intimate memoir, Gillian Marchenko exposes her deepest, most painful struggles with humor and grace. More than a story of acceptance, compassion and hope; this book is a celebration of life." (Kelley Clink, author of A Different Kind of Same)
"With unflinching honesty, Gillian Marchenko holds up a mirror to her own clinical depression and in doing so gives language and definition to something that often feels vague and dark. A must-read for anyone trying to understand their depressed spouse, friend, family member . . . or self." (Addie Zierman, author of When We Were on Fire and Night Driving)
"Still Life is a remarkably authentic story of perseverance and faithfulness. Gillian Marchenko's candor in sharing her experience with depression will be of great comfort to many who have bought into the falsehood that their suffering has resulted from a lack of faith. Gillian demonstrates how it is possible to faithfully fulfill God's purpose in life while experiencing the effects of a chronic illness that made getting out of bed a nearly insurmountable challenge on all too many days. Her authenticity in sharing her experiences offers encouragement and true hope to many who identify with her story." (Stephen Grcevich, founder and director of strategic initiatives, Key Ministry)
"Gillian Marchenko generously lets us know her and walk her journey, and in the process we grow to love her. You won't find pat answers or bland reassurances here; you'll find a real and courageous woman, a serious fight with mental illness and faith-fueled hope. If you live with depression or care about someone who does, you must read this book." (Amy Simpson, author of Troubled Minds and Anxious)
"If you've never struggled with depression but want to know what it's like, Still Life paints an accurate picture. If you have lived on that fearful ledge called depression, you'll find an ally in Gillian Marchenko. With heartfelt honesty, Marchenko describes life with double depression (Major Depressive Disorder and Dysthymia). In my dozen years as a licensed professional counselor, I've never read a more accurate book about depression and the toll it takes on the one who suffers, as well the impact on those closest to the sufferer. This book holds no cure, no magic wand, but it does extend hope." (Lucille Zimmerman, LPC, author of Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World)
"Life with depression is still life, which means beauty and dignity are still found even when not felt. Life with depression is also a still life, a straightforward painting depicting commonplace objects, something that causes us to stop, look and listen, and if we do, to possibly realize that this ordinary object is infused with the beauty of God. Marchenko's book has been a still life for me, allowing me to stop and study the intricacies of a life with depression, and in doing so, to begin to see my own areas of darkness as places capable of framing a masterpiece." (Beth Slevcove, author of Broken Hallelujahs)
"This book offers a hopeful realism for those suffering from depression, describes different therapeutic approaches the author experienced, and reflects the difficulty of parenting during a season of depression. Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope remains, as she discovers that living with depression is still life." (Journal of Christian Nursing, April/June 2016)
About the Author
Gillian Marchenko is an author, speaker, wife, mother of four daughters and advocate for individuals with special needs. Her memoir, Sun Shine Down (T. S. Poetry Press), chronicles her experience having a baby with Down syndrome while serving as a missionary in Ukraine. Gillian writes and speaks about parenting kids with Down syndrome, faith, depression, imperfection and adoption. Educated at Moody Bible Institute, she previously served with the Joni & Friends Chicago Teaching Team, helping churches cultivate inclusive environments for individuals with disabilities and their families. In addition to being featured in numerous radio interviews and guest blogging on several websites, Gillian has written for publications such as Chicago Parent, Thriving Family, Gifted for Leadership, Today's Christian Woman, Literary Mama, MomSense Magazine and EFCA Today. She and her husband Sergei spent four years as church planters with the Evangelical Free Church of America in Kiev, Ukraine, and they now live with their four daughters in St. Louis, Missouri.
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
I am so glad Gillian shared her life with us like this
By Julie
I've read a few other books/memoirs on depression, and usually couldn't finish them, as I felt the story fed right into my own struggle without hope of resolution. I am so glad Gillian shared her life with us like this, and included her struggle to find actual hope in the God she has lived her life in pursuit of. Depression isn't always resolved. She admitted the ugly realities of living with depression, opening a window for those who just have no idea what goes on behind the titles of these diagnosis. She describes the effort it takes to walk into a psychiatrist's office and admit her need for help. Along the way Gillian includes the practical methods she is implementing to help herself. I felt the weight and reality of her pain throughout the book, but also felt inspired by her determination to get well, by her decision to act (consciously, continuously), by her facing fears and hurts from the past. I am so glad I read this. We need stories like this that help us understand each other.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Felt Like I Could Write Parts of this Book.
By Jennifer E. Jones
This was a very hard book for me to digest at first. I NEVER thought I would place myself in the category of people that have suicidal thoughts, UNTIL I became pregnant and experienced the WORST antepartum depression (postpartum's ugly twin sister that is seldom talked about). I just thought it was normal to feel that way during pregnancy. I become pregnant with my second child a little less than a year later and experienced the same emotions. At that point, I knew what I was feeling was not felt by many other pregnant women. I am almost certain I had mild postpartum depression with my second child as well. I could have written parts of this book word-for-word. Now that I am out of the woods, I am grateful. I can honestly say my experience is not nearly as bad as the authors, but I definitely knew where she was coming from. As a Christian, it is so very hard to reconcile verses such as "Children are a gift from God. Blessed is the man who has a quiver full." If that is the case, then why do I feel so terrible? Why are you allowing this God? Honestly, I still don't have a concrete answer to this, other than God does what he does, and he has many different ways of sanctifying his children. Perhaps this was how he chose to sanctify me. There is lots of wisdom in this book, and I pray for the author's continued healing. I highlighted so many portions of this book to go back to when I one day become pregnant again. You may call me a glutton for punishment, but I always felt I would have three or four kids. I am at two now. I will have much of the information in this book in my arsenal for my future pregnancies. We do not have to be alone, and we can live victoriously!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A Must Read about a life living with depression!! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
By Jennifer L Price
Still Life is not a how to book on depression, it is a raw, real story of Gillian's life living with depression and how it affects those closest to her. It was a validation of sorts that it is ok to be open and honest about your struggle with depression, that a life living with depression is Still Life.
After reading Still Life I found several key things that could be applied to my own life. There are many days where I tell myself, "Do the next thing." When life gets too overwhelming and the depression episodes threaten to flatten you it is important to continually remind yourself that you have to "do the next thing". When responsibilities need to take place, when the to-do list MUST happen "do the next thing." Also, the color chart she and her husband came up with to describe how she is doing on any given day has been a help in a big way with a friend who struggles to understand my depression and backs away when an episode hits. Now he asks what color I am, is more able to know how to respond. Plus so many more.
It is very powerful and a must read!! If you or someone you know is struggling with depression I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!!
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